Captain Marvel and Us Vs. AVM

It's as early as last year when I thought of doing a block screening for my 6th 'birthday' celebration, February 25....... But with only more than 3 weeks before my target date when I pulled the trigger and said "I'M GONNA DO THIS!"

January - I checked the lineup of the movies for 2019. I checked those around the said date of my rebirth day. February na  and with no solid plan, no strategy and basically not thinking this through, I make the event page in Facebook, with the date, the location, time and the movie - Captain Marvel. Click 'post' tapos bahala na.

Why? Because we were watching this Korean novelty show called "All the Butlers" or "Jipsabu" and they had a master teaching them about "RIGHT NOW!" mentality. You wanna try something new? You wanna go somewhere? You like to talk and visit someone? Do it RIGHT NOW. Get it? And since 2018, that idea of how will i celebrate this year has been bugging me and keeping me awake all night several times. How it can help and how much my target beneficiaries does need it, how I imagine saying thanks to all the people in the sold out out movie house (feeling ampucha)  and what kicks I will wear during the event. 😉

So fast forward to February 14, I followed that RIGHT NOW mentality. Inspiration can come from the unexpected source, right? 😁 And few days after, it hit me that shit's getting serious now. Then my friends showed support by clicking 'going' and 'interested' in the page, I thought with just three weeks I'll be one lucky crazy SOB to pull this off. But the same time I was thinking how to sell more, emotions and reality kicks in too. Also that's the same time we're in the middle of moving to a different apartment to make my schedule and commitment crazier. Pucha, bahala na pa din.

I first realize that I don't want anyone to thank me. I want, together with the selected beneficiaries to thank all those that will buy, support and believe in this event. Because I genuinely thought that this is not about me trying to do something good for my recognition because this is bigger than me! So no, not for any credits or merely attention. I will do this anonymously if I could but obviously that's impossible because I have to use my connections of some sort. And also, because of Vegeta. If my memory serves me right, the Z fighters died and all went to 'heaven' except Vegeta. Picolo then ask Kame where is Vegeta. So Kame explained it something like because though Vegeta is doing good for the humanity by fighting those who want to conquer it, he's still a bad guy that's why when he died he didn't go ot heaven kike everyone. Basically, you can still do something good even if you are bad.

First week of March and I'm still struggling to sell tickets, send out invites and to receive more confirmation,  "Man! I'm so bad at this and why did I ever put myself into this shit". I'm getting teary eyed out of nowhere na mukang tanga thinking there's no way I can nail this. The idea that I have to admit even just to myself first that the event failed is messing me up so much. But as amazing as it is during those down times, I'll also receive confirmation from a friend, a friend's friend and from unexpected people that will support this. Some will pledge to watch, to buy tickets, and even confirming their friends will be there, while some will  just ask for bank details where they can deposit and just pitch in. Wow! And just like that, I'm pretty sure we can do this!👊

March 9 - The day of the event. 98 confirmed plus around 20-30 people that bought tickets. We arrived by 3PM, set up the table and get ready. As one group invited by a friend first bought two tickets, we thought we were ready and still nervous. And then,  nagsunod sunod na. All the fear, the negativity were being kick out of me as one after another arrives, greets us and bought tickets! Ang saya! I'm all smiles trying to greet and say thanks to everyone. A moment of genuine happiness.💗 Plus SM cinema team were very accommodating and help us to sell remaining seats. 

The movie started by 5PM and I decided not to do a little program but instead just ask the cinema to play the video clip about Arteriovenous Malformation to give at least an idea about the condition and why were doing this. I waited outside the cinema til 6PM just in case some will still arrive. When I entered the cinema and saw the first time how we almost fill it up! Man! Never mind the movie, I wanna stare through though darkness and see their faces one by one to remember all these good hearted people. Yung mga tawa at ngiti nila na naging tulong para sa dalawang bata para sila naman ang tumawa at sumaya.

A little something pala about the beneficiaries. First is Jhezeiy Marise M. De Joya or Jam. She's twelve years old I think. Why? Cause since I found out my AVM I've been looking for some people with same condition. I'm not really sure why. I like to think its just instinct...? that I'm not that singled out in having this rare condition maybe. So back in 2017-ish, I joined and met some members of this group 'AVM - Philippines'. Yun pala, my high school batch mates daughter have AVM pala and I knew it just late last year. Imagine after how many years and after looking not only here in Philippines, I happen to know someone who is kinda-a-little-somehow connected to me that also have AVM!

Second is  Khaile Ivan George Reyes, he's the son of Georgette Reyes. So back again when I'm trying to look for people like me, I happen to know and talk to Ms. Georgette and this is even before the group. That she have a son with AVM, being a OFW and a single mom if my memory serves me right; that its really hard for her even just to keep up with the meds for her son. And I remember I told her that if I can, I'll do anything and to somehow extend help. I don't even know why I said that cause back then I'm struggling in diff aspects by myself. Probably because lowkey, that's what i want to hear when I was in that situation even though I'm not gonna immediately believe they'll actually do it. It's maybe the idea that someone wants to show that he/she is there for you...or something like that. IDK. So through this event..... even after several years, I included them.

And that's it. That's how I decided who I want to do this for. 1, I found out in my own circle there's someone like me and 2, I simply want to live up to what I said.

The event ended. My rough estimate is that we might have reach the target..... 


And we did. ✌☺

Again, I'm not gonna stop to be forever THANKFUL to y'all! You know and He knows who you y'all are. Good Karma is just around. 💝

But let me mention and say BIG THANKS to MC Dash Calzado, Quest, DJ Slick Rick, Riki Flo, Eri Neeman, Boobay and Kim Idol (Also an AVM Warrior) who didn't think twice in supporting and believing in this event though its just a random DM from a complete stranger. So anyone reading this, I would like to request to include them and their families and their love ones in your prayers tonight as a way of thanking them, please.

I've been trying to live my life since my I survived AVM but only last year when I realized that's not enough. That I should do something not just for myself. Definitely I can't  for everyone who's still fighting the same condition. But at least to some. To give hope that like in my case, AVM can be kicked in the ass. 

Hindi ko sinabi kahit kailan na 'madali lang yan, kaya mo yan' pag may nakakausap ako na may ganitong sakit. Kinaya ko pero hindi naging madali. Di ko din siguro alam kung paano eksakto ko nagawa yun. Pero sigurado mas mahirap sya labanan sa pag iisip kesa sa pisikal. Napaka laking bagay ng suporta at dasal ng pamilya at mga kaibigan. Pero higit sa lahat, yung kagustuhan at paniniwala mo sa sarili mo na magiging OK ka ulit.

I can never give enough emphasis na dapat may dahilan ka. Kahit gaano kasimple o kababaw na dahilan para sa iba  pero sayo sapat yun. Dapat may dahilan ka para maka balik. Yung solid na dahilan na paniniwalaan mo at kakapitan mo pataas kahit gaano ka kababa mapunta. Yung maniniwala ka kahit anong mangyari para susunod yung katawan mo mismo na oo, nagkasakit ka ng di kagaya sa karamihan at di biro yung pinsala pero gagaling ka at magiging OK higit pa kung hindi man kagaya dati. 

IKAW - at ang suporta at paniniwala mo sa sarili mo eh dapat mas higit pa kesa sa paniniwala at suporta ng iba. Hindi ka nag iisa pero IKAW magisa ang magpapabangon sayo.

At kasama din ang dasal sa Kanya. 

Again, I don't want to receive any thanks to anyone. I wish - together with those kids and their parents, we can thank everyone. 

So, I'll take a 'job well done' rather than 'thanks' with this one.

Travel Itinerary

          Saying "Travelling is fun" is an understatement....Travel while you're young, while you still can. Travel not just because you want to go to different places, but travel because you WANT TO BE IN that place, you want to see what is in there, how's the people and the food in those places. Watch, listen and feel as much as you can. And if I'm still not making any sense at all, I'm not going to share any travel itinerary to any specific place. 👅 Most of the time I hear from our friends that they think we always have lots of moolah that's why we're always away........ Di totoo yun!.. Though there was a point that I really wanted to be a travel blogger to share detailed itinerary but maybe next time. So, instead I'm sharing SOME tips on how we do it not as expensive anyone thought it is.

          First, in availing seat sale.☺ Before we really don't have any idea how others can avail those Piso Sale, nakakainggit! Pero not anymore... I just booked a flight to KL for around 1500php roundtrip per pax. Nax!! First, start by following these airlines in all your social media accounts, but more than that I strongly advice that you sign up as a member and join their mailing list. Most if not all are just free when you sign up. And if there will be a seat sale, they will send a mail or even a text. Airasia also have a one-day-before-exclusive-to-members-only sale. And if you're a member, you'll also earn point for every completed flight. For CebPac, pay 150 for GetGo membership, recently they had a sale for GetGo members only which offers as low as 10 points for Taiwan flight so yea, its worth it. The thing is you have to plan early maybe even a year before. Or at least plan and decide where you want to go, Early 2016 I said I want to go to Singapore. Around November nagka sale, because we decided na where we want to go, we just quickly check when can we be available within the travel period of the sale and Voila! Scored a round trip Singapore flight for only Php 3,7++/pax all in. Way cheaper compare to around Php 6,000 "one way base fare only" as of this writing for a flight on November. For us, its around Php 800 for a domestic flight and Php 4,000 for an intl flight. It will still depend on where you want to go because some place like Siargao, Batanes, Maldives and Tokyo eh bihira na kasama sa mga sale. The 800 and 4,000 is just our guide but not the limit. Lastly, magpuyat ka! If the seat sale will start on March 30, 2017 it means March 30, 2017 12:00AM/ 0000h and then of course you're not alone trying to book so getting in their sites is pahirapan na. But if you stay for more than two hours or more, 2:00am-3:00am-ish it will be easier and faster.....or is it? Don't select seats while booking, in Airasia they will let you select those for free when you do web check in. Others will pre select your seats during web check in and if there are two of you, most if not always will place you next to each other. Next, skip buying those insurance, whether you buy that or not they will still pay you if something happens... or that's what i heard. Download their apps pala. I'm not really sure on this but sometimes when a seat sale is happening, its easier to book via their app or the other way around so to be sure, try both at the same time. Tirador ng seat sale nga! hahaha!👾

          

           Next is looking for accommodation. If you'll be maselan you can stop and not continue reading this. Cause when I say if you want to save up on this, Its no joke! If you want the cheapest way, go to a hostel for as low as Php 300 for a bed in a fan room. Easy. But that's not just for me, for us. We want our privacy, our own CR instead of a common CR. But you have to be very flexible on this. We stayed in a room for Php 500, Php 200 more than a bed in a hostel right? but there's two of us so it will be Php 600 for both of us if we chose to stay in a hostel plus in the 500 fan room we have our own CR, a larger space for our stuff and the peace of mind that its easier to secure those than putting everything under our pillow. If you're going in a large group, its easier to find an accommodation where you can save but since its just the two of us most of the time, we have to do our research. Airbnb is better sometime specially in other countries (please ask for referal code from me to save some hehe). Some owners are more flexible in 'check in check out' time and rules. Most allow cooking inside their listing which is helpful if you're on a tight budget. Also try looking thru sites like Agoda or booking where they have these filters but it’s not always about the top result in the cheapest category. Be sure to also read reviews and to lower your expectations. Will you really expect a 5 star stay in an accommodation in the lower bracket of the 'price' category? 

EDIT: according to an owner, it’s cheaper by around 17% if you book directly so i suggest you use said websites to search and read reviews but try to book and talk to the hotel of your choice directly.

          For us it’s around Php 2,000-3,000 for international trips and Php 1,000 for a local destination for a night and around 3 stars review. The thing is, you will only stay there to rest and sleep. Staying in the hotel is not the reason why you'll go to Hong Kong or Kuala Lumpur. If you'll gonna be out all day, as long as the room has a bed, an aircon, wifi and own CR...Keri na. There's also yung mga "homestay", where basically a lokal will accommodate you in their own house, give you your own room. With homestay, you can’t also expect the most comfortable bed, space and CR but how hosts will welcome you in their own home and treat you as their own relative will be PRICELESS! In a very short time, you'll feel the love and be reminded why Filipinos are known for their hospitality. I'm ALL for goin the cheapest way as much as possible BUT not on like this, please... Be a little generous cause most of these hosts/ family will say kayo na bahala if you ask them for their rates. Add in a little extra, sacrifice your next venti or two because I believe one of the most important benefits of Tourism is additional income for the local communities and that hey are the ones that should benefit from it directly....aytenkyubaw! Na afford mo na mag bakasyon, wag ka na magdamot. If you want to rest and take a break from the noise, pollution and stress from the Metro, go to the unspoiled beaches, provinces or municipalities for the perfect getaway and have a break but also note that these places are not developed as much so don't expect there will be establishments like hotels to cater your pagseselan. 👌

         In making itinerary, my girl is better at this I think....or maybe she forced it at me to think that way... Haha!

Research and read as much about the place. If possible, talk to other travelers for contact numbers of bangkero, habal habal or basta yung mga lokal before your vacation, be smart. Don’t haggle so much but instead choose the one with the better offer. One may offer a cheaper deal but the other one will offer a more complete or something extra than the other. It isn't always about the lowest price. Do your research and read. You can find these peeps even in Facebook. Again, please be generous after the trip and give some tip. Research and read. Join in Facebook groups about travelling, backpacking and talk to them and meet new friends. Trust me, it's very helpful! There are times that some people will ask who would go to the same place on the same date your going, then go. Being in a large group will be easier to avail cheaper deals without being kuripot and an instant way to meet new friends. Research and read. For international trips, one of our secret is Klook. Google it and thank me later. It's very helpful and easy to use; sometimes it will even help you to avoid long lines. For us, it’s usually four days/three nights either domestic or international. Physically it can be tiring if susulitin mo and you'll go to many places. Leave on a Wednesday, come back Saturday then rest on Sunday. You have two days that is not so much crowded and next two days can be the other way around but some places have something extra every weekend or starting every Friday night like some light show or fireworks so plan accordingly if you want to avoid the crowd. Preparation is the key. Research and read and repeat. Google is your friend. Bloggers, reviews are all over the net. You just have to decide what places and spots you wanna visit. For us, we do it by tracing it first to google map. The nearest one to the aiport will be point A, then go back to google map again to decide what will be your point B and so on. Try also to consider that once you land in the airport you still have your bags with you so try to go first to places that you can enjoy while you still have your bags and if you'll pass thru the area where you will stay then go for a quick check in and leave the bags. If that's not really possible, then from airport go to hotel and then to your Point A.

          In packing your stuff, bring all the essentials of course but don't bring the whole bottle of shampoo or conditioner. Go to suking tindahan and buy sachets even for deodorant especially if you will ride a plane. Wag maselan, one pair of PJs or pantulog can be good for three nights just make sure it’s EXCLUSIVELY for sleeping. If you will go to beaches, why would you wear or bring pants? Even if you will not stay in a hotel, homestay or budget friendly inns will still provide towels. Personally, I will bring one extra shirt, one extra short and one extra undies. ONE. Shades are not just to spice up your OOTD, it’s also for protection so bring one. Sunblock also. Actually there is no secret in this. I do encourage though to use a backpack because....well....you're backpacking *bad dum tss* but seriously, it will be easier I think to move around even if you're carrying your bag so as long you can fit all your stuff that you want to bring in your backpack, you are good to go. Invest in a good bag. I think the standard is 7 kgs but now ther are larger ones.

          Next is about Food. The easy part, A week before going to a trip do some extra workout or be strict on your diet so when you're on your holiday.... Lamon! hehe but seriously, try local delicacies, even if it’s still in the Philippines. There's more from Cebu than Lechon, the best Laing I had was made by the Bangkero or his Family in Calaguas. Even the Tinola in Ilocos is different. And it doesn't need to be expensive....maybe. Go to local carinderias, turo turo or just spend some extra to try Kalui resto in Puerto Princesa or Chewlove in Tacloban. It's all gonna be worth it, promise. In Singapore, water is very expensive and Tian Tian hainannese chicken rice is nothing but hype..haha! Pass muna sa McDo, KFC and even Jollibee when you go to other countries. Have at least one expensive meal but try the local food as much as possible. F*ck diet! It's Cheat Day! You deserve it....says the 200 pounder guy! 

          Before, we just travel by joining and availing tour packages. Less hassle yes but it's not fun as much if you Do-It-Yourself plus it can be more expensive. Pero I would still advise that sometimes it’s ok to avail tour packages especially if you will go somewhere that needs a boat ride like Calaguas where you can only hope that you will find other groups so you can all chip in for the boat rental or else you'll pay it on your own, eh pano pa pag walang boat. Or even Ilocos because when you're there they will always say "malapit na!" then it'll take up more or less an hour pa without traffic to reach the next destination. As a joiner, you also have to follow THEIR itinerary. Either you or other groups will or will not follow it and will ruin the itinerary and may skip other attractions. True story bro 

          Point is you going on a holiday doesn't need to cost an arm and a leg (or a kidney hehe!*bad poker face*). Be more flexible and tone down your kaartehan. Finally, just like other things, don't worry too much because you'll eventually have your own diskarte on your own how you can travel but spend less and enjoy life even more. ツ

Not the usual Time travel

If you can go back in time... 10 or even 15 years back and redo everything, would you?...... i guess some would consider this

What if you can go back and you can choose to be somewhat 'gifted'... you can go back as the most intelligent person, genius... or to be the greatest athlete, in any sport/s you like.... or be the most talented person, in singing or dancing or why not both?.... or simply the most beautiful person.... Just basically anything how you want to be when you go back. And in the process, you will be very rich and famous and all. Would you??...... HELLS YEA!! why not?

But if you go back as a hit making artist or an NBA Rookie-MVP or the Stephen Hawking..... there's a condition. First is that you will not go to the same school and will not meet the same friends, loved or love the same people. would you?..... You'll have the same relatives of course, but still it wont be the same. You cannot experience again everything just as how you enjoyed things with your friends now. Sure with your wealth and fame you can try to meet them up again. But it's sure that it'll be different at one point or another. In time maybe ya'll be as close again but for them its a wild dream come true of being close to a 'Superstar'. Lose all the memories with friends, boyfriend/girlfriend but you can be friends with your celebrities, hangout with the elites on the same leagues and level of your fame in whatever industry. Be one in the #Squadgoals or even in the #relationshipgoals normal people would admire and have the #Blessed social status.......

So..... what would it be? :)

Cubao

Nagising ako sa bahay walang ideya na hindi magiging masaya ang araw. Pinilit ko pa ramdamin na nasa bahay ako at makakapag pahinga kahit sa isang araw. Hindi pa inabot ng tanghalian bumigat na ang lahat. Nagkasabay sabay na naman sa panahon pa na ang gusto ko lang naman magpahinga. Masyado mabigat, mahirap. Naisip ko lumapit sa kanya, makapag labas ng sama ng loob at makahinga man lang. Inantay ko pag gising niya at ng matawagan ko siya. Nung magkausap na kami di ako nagkaron ng pagkakataon huminga at pagaanin kahit pano, siya din pala may daing sa akin. Wala na, alam ko ng hindi maganda ang araw at magsisimangot na lang ako.

Ginusto ko magpahinga, lumayo muna kahit kanino. Manahimik ng sandali.
May isang oras pa bago mag tanghalian, nagisip saan ko makukuha ang pahinga kahit hiram lang. Naisip ko pumunta sa malapit lang na makakatahimik ako. Naisip ko mag Tagaytay mag isa. Sakto ang presko at di matatangging magandang tanawin, siguro marerelax kahit sino. Pero masyado na tanghali at di din pwede magtagal dahil maaga pa para da kinabukasan. Sigurado naman walang katahimikan sa mall kahit sa gilid ng MOA. Hindi ko kaya ang pressure sa Luneta at hindi din ang layo ng antipolo.

Naisip ko sa cubao, bahala na.  Baka bigla maisipan manuod ng basketbol na lang, di man makapag pahinga, maibaling na lang amg bigat ng mga bagay bagay.  Nakarating ako sa gateway, kumain at umupo na. Bumalik sa mga nakaraan, pinilit humanap ng mga kasagutan. Pagiintindi at pagkukumpara. Pagsasariwa ng saya at sakit. Pinilit planuhin ang mga susunod na mangyayari at intindihan kung ano pa man ang mangyayari samga susunod pa.

Hindi na ako nakapag isip pa. Pero naramdaman ko nakakatakas na ako, sumasaya kahi sandali nakakahiram ng pahinga bago maging nakakapagod na naman ang lahat.
Sulit.
Dumating sa punto sana hindi na muna ko nabalik sa araw na araw na ginagawa ko sa buhay ko,  patunay nga lang na nakalayo ako. Hindi ko na namalayan madami na akong oras na pinalipas.
Naitindihan ko kahit pano hindi lang sa akin mahirap at di makatanggap ng lahat.

Naramadaman ko kailangan ko na bumalik di ko man gusto pa. Nakapag pahinga, naging masaya. Takot ng bumalik sa kinabukasan kung pwede lang. Nabalik kahit pano ang dati.

Handa na ako para bukas, game na ule.
Pero yung paghahanap ko at pagpapa hinga, may isa akong nabalewala.
Naging maayos ako kahit para sa kinabukasan, yung ngayon ko naman naiwan sa hindi pagiging ok.

miserable.

LIFE IS MISERABLE - that no matter what you do, it is and it will be miserable at one point. Most believe at karma, that if you'll be good enough your life wont be a mess. Faith will keep you away from any bad things. Not that I don't believe in that, but how faithful do you  need to be? There will always be someone or something that will pull you down, break your momentum, crash every hope you have and will you make feel so bad that sometimes make you eve doubt your self. "HINDI LAGING PASKO"

I AM MISERABLE - for me, that "point" is now. No matter how I try to look things in a positive perspective, there's  always something that reminds me that life is indeed miserable. I tried so hard to change it all and look at it in a different angle, but every single time I felt I'm almost out of it....something would happen that would remind me so hard that "nope,not today...just stop trying.........maybe". A moment that would you really push you to your limits, tip-toeing at the edge.

LET ME BE MISERABLE - maybe my breaking point, giving in all the shitty things this life would offer. How long it would last, that I don't really know. I think it is unfair. They say after being way up high...you will eventually fall to the back down to remind you that life ain't fair and easy. Well, I didn't felt that I was up there living life to the fullest, but then I am being crashed face-first down to the very bottom. That maybe  I should succumb to life's harshness and everything tough it can offer. That maybe if I just let myself feel every pain and hardship in every inch of me, it will be over. Life maybe trying to teach me something..... and why not?unarguably experience is the best teacher out there. Ganon na lang ba ko kawalang alam at madaming dapat pang matutunan sa buhay? I maybe at that edge right now, only a hand away hanging from the bottom or maybe I did already let go. Ninanamnam lahat ng pait. This year have never been good to me. Complaining and whining could never be of any help. Might still have a reason or two to be thankful. Confidants undoubtedly never left me. Being alive is indeed something to appreciate.... but then, living like this, do you think you would be thankful? 

Put your game face no matter how broke you are, stay tough even when your all bruised up inside and still be ready to play on each and every day...... kahit hindi muna para magtagumpay, kundi para lang malagpasan na lang muna kung ano pang ibibigay sayo.


"IF LIFE IS FUCKING ME RIGHT NOW, CALL ME A BAD BITCH CAUSE I AM STILL UP FOR MORE DEEP AND HARD FUCKING IT WOULD GIVE"

2/6/13

For the Nth time, I am admitting that what I did was wrong and there's no way I can correct it nor justify it. I messed up pretty good and it’s been biting me up in the ass for the last three months I guess. But hell yes, I also know that three months of being fucked-up-mr.-bawi-guy is still nothing for what I did. For many times now I can’t seem to stop asking myself hanggang kelan?hanggan san?ano pa ba?  But it still goes back to that “who am I to complain?”

You just have this urge to complain or argue about something or just even ask so nicely why this and that…. Yet you won’t complain argue and ask nicely just because you know well that it will still be all your fault no matter how long the conversation and with all your rational reasons that maybe….just maybe there’s something wrong also with the other person or the reaction is just maybe taking a little long than how it should be leading her to do some stupid things too. DAMN!!

Just now, something just punch all the good mood in me. Its’ something like Pandora ’s Box or the forbidden fruit. Face it and you know you’ll face a shitty consequence. I know that I should not open or even take a look at it. Hindi nagkulang sa pagsabi sak akin…. ”wala ka ba tiwala? Eh di tignan mo, wala ka naman makikita jan….wag mo igaya yan katulad nung sayo”….. Oo nga naman, tama..so papalag pa ba ako?? Mali pala, wala na ako karapatan pumalag pag ganyan na yung sinabi. But stupid me, out of nowhere took a bite at it!...  Somehow I just felt my chair was going up and down but my eyes were still fuckin glued to the monitor, catching everything even though I’m scrolling pretty fast up and down cause I don’t know would I start….afraid at the same time that I might see something na pagsisihan kong nakita ko. I felt a little dizzy and a strong straight cheap shot right in the guts. May mali ba talaga? Ewan ko, that would be subjective, hindi ko din alam dahil hindi ko hinimay lahat sa takot ko. Praning lang ba ako?defensive? dahil pa din sa ginawa kong mali? Pwede….. hindi ko alam, Malabo talaga para saken, pwede ko palinawain pero natakot ako. Hindi pwede magtanong. Pero ang punto HINDI KO GUSTO ANG NAKITA KO.

May magagawa ba ako?........WALA! asa pa.

I fuckin hate it! Everything about it! But I can’t do a damn thing cause really, though I admit it…. I am sick and tired of blaming myself to it. …over and over and over! Ako pa din naman talaga may kasalan, hindi ako pwede dumaing magreklamo dahil lahat lang naman to nangyayari dahil sa ginawa ko. Wala na ako sa kahit anong lugar pa para magreklamo…bakit? Dahil ako naman may kasalanan, ako dahilan at higit sa lahat, ako lang naman ganon saten ako lang may kaya gumawa nun kaya huwag na huwag kita igagaya saken. Hindi Masaya.

update: this is irrelevant now

NAKAMA

“Arittake no yume wo kaki atsume…Sagashi-mono wo sagashi ni yuku no sa”

So now i am officially hooked to this anime, 1 piece....at hindi lang ako..madami pa adik dito ngayon.lolz. It is an anime about a kid who wants to be the pirate king by finding the treasure of the old pirate king, the 1 piece..and also about how he meet and make friends or part of his pirate crew, the straw-hat crew along the way....and i should stop telling how the story is. For me, what so good about it is how it differs from other anime. It’s different cause its nothing similar to reality, comes from just pure imagination that just tickles the kid in all of us. And i think it’s good cause unlike any other animes about a ninja or some super kid detective or a basketball team or any sport… All the characters, setting and everything in it is not even trying to relate to anything that happens in real world...just how I think anime should be! Other old anime have been like that before, it’s really not the first one like that. Dragon ball Z have a human cat for president...and do I have to mention Voltes V and other gigantic robots?... The thing for this kind of anime, you can’t even try to criticize it that "it’s so unreal"...cause it’s really not. Unlike from others, for example... From the moment Kogure releases the ball, it took two freakin episodes just to show how loooong he remembers everything about how he and Akagi entered Shohoku up to that very ball game in that very moment while he is airborne for that shot!! Tindi talaga nun...lol! 1 piece is nothing but pure wild fun imaginative fiction. I bet anyone's imagination has happen to any scene in 1 piece....and of course we enjoy it! Anyone can also relate to any main characters between the childish humour of Ussopp...the sweetness and gullible chopper...the seriousness and loyalty of Zoro... Sanji's passion... Robin's mysteriousness and knowledge...Nami's being so madiskarte and being charismatic...up to Luffy’s leadership and his dedication to make his dream come true.

But if it there is something about 1 piece that is same to other anime… It is for me, the moral lesson. And that lesson is about valuing friendship. That no matter where they came from, how different they are to one another in personalities, opinions and how shitty the situation might end up for one or all of them.. No one will be left be behind...No one will get hurt and that the Friendship will last through distance and time...and maybe that much cliché-ish can happen only just in their world...hahaha! So far it has ten plus movies, 500 plus episodes and still far from over. It also made me write another blog entry. J But I know many out there just like me will still enjoy every moment and be carried away to this whole adventure up until the glorious end of story of the straw-hat pirates.

“Gathering up all of our dreams… Going to search for our desires”